I woke up this morning hoping that my face would be furry and stylish, but instead, I've just grown stubble. It's all good, though, cause I know that I've got this contest in the bag.
You see, Jewish men have been growing beards for centuries. In fact, it's the law! Considering I'm the only Jewish person in the contest, I'm sure to win.
And just for those who are interested, we're not the first to have a beard-growing contest. Anybody want to join me in Berlin, 2005?