Friday, October 24, 2008


Length = David

Fullness = Lazer

Overall = Jonathan

Honorable Mentions: Joe & Logan

Thanks to all who came out and supported them!

Winners received crowns and medals while all competitors received bic razors covered in glitter. Happy shaving, if you should so choose, beard-a-knights.

Fortunately, the awards ceremony was captured on film, and will be posted sometime soon. As promised, the overall winner, Jonathan, will be the featured beard in the film.

We Mustache You a Question.

What do you think of the fantastic judging panel? They had to battle it out and choose a winner.

Fierce Competitors/Angry Homeless Men?

What do YOU think? Leave us a comment.

Week 4 = Finale

We present the final products.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Bearded Movie Night?

Great Odin's Beard!!!
Perhaps we should organize a movie night?

Thor Says...

Yea verily, for the winner of this day's beard contest shall ascend with me upon the back of Odin's eight-legged horse Sleipnir, over the rainbow bridge, to Valhalla where all of Asgard shall kneel supplicant before the glory of your mighty warrior-beard. Those who lose the contest will feel the wrath of my tested war-hammer, the mighty Mjolnir! For I, Thor, wield the power of thunder and detest the weak beards of mortal striplings!

The One that runs with the beard

My friends, sorry for the late post. I suspended my beard campaign to rescue the children in Somalia. As I was reading the posts on this blog, I realized that some of the names looked familiar. The ALA recently published a list of "risky librarians." I am happy to report my opponents are on the list. My campaign has revolutionized the field of genetics. My beard, as it appears today, has created the "holy trinity of sexiness." My beard has enabled me to be three people in one sexy body - "the rebel," "the naughty librarian," and "the mountain man"-- my sexy body. After reading Lazer's lamentations, I want to say this - I am a tested, molested, and proven beard leader. So - pick me! Here is my campaign video -

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

In Defense of My Beard

So, there's been quite a bit of talk lately about my poor showing in the beard contest. Yes, sadly the photograph below exhibits all that a month has gotten me. (Although, I am growing a pretty dastardly mustache. If I let it grow out, I believe I'd look like Snidely Whiplash. )

So rather than attempt to convince the judges of the, admittedly few, merits of my beard, I will simply bring forth evidence of precisely what I'm up against. This is an inherently biological contest, and I believe a distinct genetic handicap should be taken into account when judging the participants. Behold:Yep, this enthusiastic lad with the cherubic visage is many things, none of them a natural beard grower. Those sweet, pink cheeks are ready to be stuffed full of fudge, not sprout the manly bristles native to the faces of so many outdoorsy types, metal guitarists, and homeless gentleman. It's a wonder I've come as far as I have. And for that, I deserve something.

My credentials

Having seen Lizz's list of criteria, I feel it is only appropriate to take this time to address my credentials for the beard growing contest.

1. Homeless man look - From the photographic evidence, I'm clearly the most in need of a cup of soup. Seriously - spare anything?

2. Patchiness - even my patches have there own sense of style. that salt and pepper look that you see coming on? Pure style. It's more like salt and brown sugar. Sweet.

3. Loggins-factor: I am not going to feather my hair, but I have seen every episode of Yacht Rock, including the uncut versions.



As determined by Lizz and the criteria committee:

Fullness: minimal patchiness, good overall face/neck coverage, fills in the blanks pretty nicely

Length: um, use a ruler

Overall: minimal patchiness, strong overall face/neck coverage, consistent color and texture, softness valued over prickly, a je ne sais quoi quality, inspires world peace, reminds you of Kenny Loggins in his good days

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Week 3: The Last Stretch

Have they hit a brick wall? YOU DECIDE.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

the curse of heart

In sports, as in life, the most important thing is not really to win, but to "have heart" beyond and above to have an immense store (some may opine an inextinguishable and inexhaustible store of "heart") of "never say die". Winning for the sake of winning is no victory. Winning as an end is really simply, a loss of spirit, or as those religiously inclined may think, sinful. The journey of growing this monstrosity, is in fact the reward, the prize. Each day as I vainly scoped my mug I fell in love with myself all over again, and again.

I look forward to shaving as soon as possible, probably Thursday evening, if not sooner. I seek to return to modest humility and objectivity (or a release from narcissism), that characterizes the mark of a mature individual and one capable of loving (Fromm).



Monday, October 13, 2008

Week 2 = Progress

Here they are. What fine species of beard...

Thursday, October 09, 2008

London (well, Telford proper)

Hi Team Amazing,

It is me, Lazer Hahn, in Telford, UK. Wish you all were here! I spent one night in a London hostel and then took a train here the next day. I am in Telford for one more day and then I will fly to Dublin, and then from Dublin to Chicago and probably then spending time in the SuburbsOf before I make my return to Urbana.

The beard continues to grow even though I am not in the States, how unusual. Please someone explain this to me.

Take care,


Friday, October 03, 2008

Thursday, October 02, 2008

ZZ Top 5: Beadered Boy Band of Tomorrow?

Well, the race is off and looks like Lazer is pulverizing the rest. Maybe they should start a singing group? Enjoy.....

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Our final contestant

Man, Lazer's been holding back...