Having seen Lizz's list of criteria, I feel it is only appropriate to take this time to address my credentials for the beard growing contest.
1. Homeless man look - From the photographic evidence, I'm clearly the most in need of a cup of soup. Seriously - spare anything?
2. Patchiness - even my patches have there own sense of style. that salt and pepper look that you see coming on? Pure style. It's more like salt and brown sugar. Sweet.
3. Loggins-factor: I am not going to feather my hair, but I have seen every episode of Yacht Rock, including the uncut versions.